Guano, guano everywhere.

At a private wine tasting, the somewhat inebriated host loudly blurted out: You're not gonna believe this, but this is the second conversation I've had today about bat guano.

Red, White, and Blue Cheese?

Old lady: Look at that cheese--such a pretty color! Like one of Hillary Clinton's pantsuits.

How does one get that nickname?

In a dive bar in Edgewater:

"Did anyone call Franny-No-Panties? I thought she'd be here by now."

But he still ugly

Overheard at Clark/Lake el stop, 12:45pm Tuesday.

Woman with Bluetooth headset:

"So I told her, like, dis is my new guy or whatever, and she said, 'Really?! But he ugly!' So I said, 'Yeah, but he got pretty eyes,' and she said 'Yeah, he got pretty eyes, but he still ugly.'"

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